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Saturday, December 3, 2016

NaNoWriMo 2016 Has Been Conquered!


Why do we participate in NaNo?  For me, it's the challenge.  I know I can do it.  I know I can write 50,000 words in a month.  If I didn't have to work 40 hours a week I could probably double or even triple that, but this is real life and not going to work because you want to write a book just isn't an option for most of us.  So, I cram that writing time into the end of my days and ignore my family on the weekends, just to prove to myself that if I really want to I can do it.  If I'm truly motivated it can happen.  My family hates this by the way.

This is the first chapter of the story I worked on for NaNo.  The book isn't done yet, (almost, but not quite) and I wrote this chapter at the beginning of the year so it wasn't included in my 50,000 word count.  I actually wrote two chapters in February and then decided to live with the characters for a while.  They've been rattling around and arguing with each other in my head for months, so I let them all out to play for National Novel Writing Month.  Since I'm almost done with their story I wanted to share this little bit with you.


A Shade of Winter

Chapter 1


“So tell me, Pansy, how do you feel that you’ve been handling school since the accident?”  He closed the door before she answered but I could hear the low murmur of my sister’s reply through the heavy wood-paneled door.  She was making up some crap answer to placate the therapist, no doubt. Since nothing that I could say or do would help at this point I turned my attentions to the handful of people wasting time in the small, but plush, waiting room. 

No one bothered me as I wandered around the room. There was an older lady, maybe in her late thirties, with a lacquered helmet of dirty blonde hair that ran stick straight to her shoulder before curling under. It didn’t move as she leaned over to scribble something in her notepad and as I looked over her shoulder to see what she was writing, expecting to see the next great American novel, I was disappointed to see nothing but a grocery list. Adults were so boring.
 
The psychology books in the heavy oak bookshelf by the receptionist’s desk looked new and unopened and I noticed a thick layer of dust along the tops. They seemed to be largely ignored by both the staff and the cleaning crew. Absently, I ran my hand over a mercury glass mirror, its spotted finish looked old and expensive. Maybe it was, but I figured expensive, fragile objects weren’t the best things to have on hand when people were in an emotional state. Not that any of the people sitting out here looked particularly volatile. The waiting room serviced two other therapists' offices and their patients looked pretty placid. For all I knew, they were all doped up on meds, so maybe the mirror and the little glass tchotchkes on the shelves would live to see another day. My combat boots didn’t make any sound on the thick baby blue carpet as I continued my tour around the room. Blue is a soothing color, I’d read that in a magazine once.

Dad was paying top dollar for this therapist, even though Mom had had to bribe my reluctant twin to get her to agree to this session of the touchy-feelies.  Our parents felt that Pansy wasn’t showing enough depth of despair, or grief, or whatever, over the accident and together they’d made the decision that she should talk to a professional.  It was one of the few times since the funeral that they’d even spoken to one another and we’d been pretty shocked when this had been the decision produced from their little pow-wow.  In the last few weeks Dad had spent more and more time at work, and Mom, well… she spent her few waking hours lying in bed, staring at the wall.  We’d assumed their conversation was about her need for therapy, as clearly, it should be our mother sitting in that silky beige chair.  But no one had asked for our opinions. No, instead, my sister had to endure this emotional poking and prodding into the most private aspects of her life, and I fully expected her to lie her way through most of it.  She couldn’t tell them the truth or I’d be visiting her in the looney bin.
 
There was a kid who looked about two or three years younger than us with lanky dark hair, slumped in his seat, sitting next to a woman I presumed was his mother.  I wondered which of them needed the therapist.  She was reading a book and he was playing a game on his Gameboy, thumbs flying over the controls as he shot down flying saucers.  He didn’t notice when I rolled my eyes.

I made my way around a dusty fake fern on a spindly table to see what the overweight guy sitting on a settee in the corner was doing.  I sat down next to him but his gaze never wavered from the magazine he was holding in both hands.  He was just staring at an advertisement for Keds and not actually reading anything.  Upon closer inspection, his eyes were dilated and his breathing seemed shallow so I stepped away, convinced he was definitely on something.  Whether that something was prescribed or not, I had no idea.

I hadn’t wasted nearly enough time touring the room but since I had made a complete circle back to the door where my sister was being ‘treated’ I eased into Dr. Noonan’s office with its cheerful yellow walls and big windows that let in as much of the weak November light as possible.  Dr. Noonan didn't look up from his notes but my sister gave me a warning glance as I perched in the chair next to hers.  It was her way of telling me to behave although she didn’t speak to me directly. Her eyes were red and I could see that she’d already been crying.  Maybe she was laying it on too thick.  After all, we wanted the doctor to believe that she was well adjusted and capable of grieving, not that she was a big blubbery mess.
 
“But you were driving the vehicle, at the time, correct?”

“Yes, sir.” She dropped her eyes to the tissue she was twisting back and forth in her hands.  Avoid eye contact.  Good thinking, Sis.

“Your father said you blamed yourself for the accident, but the police report says that a man crossed into your lane.  Have you actually seen the police report yet, Pansy?”

“No, sir.”  Short and sweet, that was good, don’t say too much.

“I have a copy here and I think you should look at it.  The man, Justin Woodbridge, was well over the legal limit, but surely you already know that.”

“Yes, sir.”  She took the manila file folder from Doctor Noonan and laid it open across her lap.  Standing, I moved behind her to read it over her shoulder and she nudged it a little to the side so that I could get a better view. 

“Now, some of the pictures you’re going to see are graphic.  It’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to see them.  Don’t feel bad if it makes you anxious or brings up bad memories. This is just a folder.  All you have to do is close it.” Dr. Noonan leaned back in his seat and crossed his ankle over his other knee.  He smoothed his longish dark hair back from his face before settling his hands across the pooch of his belly.  I assumed that he was getting comfortable so that he could observe Pansy’s reactions while reading through the report.  When I glanced down I saw that there wasn’t much to it, really.  It looked like there were a few statements that the police had gathered, the first responders, one from my sister, and one from this Justin Woodbridge guy.  There was a hand-drawn diagram of the accident scene showing the placement of vehicles in relation to the bridge.  It looked so nice and neat on paper.  Almost orderly. 

Pansy flipped to the next page, which was a glossy 8x10 photo from the scene, and I admit, I had to look away.  That was too real, much more like it had been that night, and I suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline, fear, grief, something... hit me hard.  My chest tightened like I couldn’t get enough air.  Trying not to hyperventilate, which was ridiculous, really, I walked over to the windows.  The roses in the flower bed outside the window had been cut back for the winter, their woody stems whacked off at strange pointy angles and I stared at their ugliness until I got myself under control.  Dr. Noonan had resumed talking, but I hadn’t been listening.

“I know it’s not my fault.  I know that.  But I’m afraid I’m never going to forgive myself.  Maybe I could have reacted quicker.  If we hadn’t been out so late it wouldn't have happened, but I was the one that had wanted to stay at the party.  Why Gerri? Why not me?”  Her words were tinged with a hint of panic and pulled my attention away from my own feelings.  I didn’t know if she was acting for the doctor or if she really meant it, but my intuition told me that she was being sincere.  I frowned.  “It’s not your fault,” I said.  She shook her head and I couldn’t tell if that meant she was agreeing with me or not.

“Survivor’s guilt is common in these kinds of cases,” the doctor began to drone on in his soothing voice.  I began to wonder if part of the therapy was to hypnotize the patients with his voice.  Hypnotherapy was a real thing, right?  Recomposed, I walked back over to stand behind my sister. 

The file was still open on her lap and the picture that was currently on top of the pile was of the car we’d been in - our 1994 Chevy Cavalier that we’d gotten brand new last year for our sixteenth birthday.  The front end was smashed and crumpled, but the firewall had held.  It wasn’t the force of the oncoming car that had killed me, no, it was the broken end of the guardrail being forced through the passenger side door that had ended my life.  I shivered with the memory and laid a hand on Pansy’s shoulder.  “It’s not your fault,” I said again, more firmly this time.

She laid her hand over mine, or tried to, anyway. To Dr. Noonan, it probably looked like she was just touching her own shoulder for no reason.  Dr. Noonan could suck it.  As far as we could tell, my twin was the only person who could see and hear me since I’d died.  In the last few weeks we had adjusted to this strange turn of events as well as we were ever going to. 

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Hell or High Water is now Available on Kindle!

My third book, following the life and adventures of Grace Jackson, is finally finished and published.  I've tried to wrap up all of the loose ends, so Grace and Co. can enjoy their lives peacefully for a while.  Not too long I hope, but I have other projects waiting.  I hope you read it and enjoy it.  And if you do enjoy it, please leave a review!

Grace Jackson is getting her life back on track. Mamaw is back home, Nate has moved in, and Grace and the crew are heading to a job on Blair Mountain in Logan County, West Virginia. Their dig is hampered by heavy rain and flooding, and when a nearby mudslide uncovers some bones, Grace finds herself digging up old secrets as well as human remains.


 Amazon link

Monday, June 1, 2015

Mud, Sweat, & Tears is Free This Week for Kindle!


While I'm still working on my third book, "Hell or High Water" I'm currently running a promotion on Amazon for my second book, Mud, Sweat, & Tears.  It's free!! (June 1-5, 2015)  

 MS&T


Returning home after a ten-week stint on the Chesapeake Bay, Contract Archaeologist Grace Jackson assumes life will be returning to normal. However, she doesn't make it through the front door of her home before that illusion is shattered. Mamaw is missing, Lottie is still on the run, and Grace and the gang will be called to the forests of Fayetteville, WV to assist with the recovery of a body buried in the park for more than two decades. Set against the backdrop of Bridge Day in the New River Gorge National River, normal will have to wait.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Castle Diaper Cake


Diaper cakes are a dime a dozen on Pinterest, so for my niece's baby shower, I decided to try my hand at it.  How hard could it be?  Well, plan to set aside at least two hours if it's your first time.  I'm sure the pros can knock one out in under an hour, but I'm certainly not at that level.  I could, however totally do it, and so can you!



What You'll Need:

64 diapers - I bought a box of 100.

A 6" x 60' roll of tulle.  This will lend a very slight color cast to the diapers, so choose a color that works with your theme.  I believe organza ribbon would also work, although I didn't try it!

1 roll (or partial roll, it won't take much) of crepe paper.

3 to 4 sheets of scrapbooking or construction paper - various patterns.

About 5 feet of 2-3" wide ribbon and any extra bits of ribbon, buttons, pompoms and/or any other bits you want to use to decorate the castle.

Scissors

Hot glue - preferably low temp.  You can use high temp, but it takes longer for the glue to dry and it's much more painful when you stick your finger in it.



Step 1)  I started by making four 'towers' by rolling up three diapers lengthwise, rolling the first one to make the middle, then adding the other two on each side.  Try to keep the printed side of the diaper on the inside of the roll so you don't have a cartoon character sticking out somewhere you don't want it.


 Step 2) I cut a length of tulle to wrap the tower in, leaving enough to overlap, and then slid a piece of crepe paper underneath the overlap.  Since diapers are crazy expensive, I wanted her to be able to actually use the diapers later, which wouldn't be possible if they're covered in glue.  The crepe protects the diapers and gives the glue something to hold onto.



Step 3)  After I scribbled some glue down the length of the crepe paper, I ripped another section off and placed it on top, sandwiching the the two ends of the tulle between the two pieces of crepe.  Once the glue was dry, I trimmed off the extra tulle and crepe paper.  (Because, as you can see from the picture below, it looks like a hot mess at this point.)  If you wanted to make this a little fancier you could use a piece of ribbon over the seam, but I had these turned to the inside and you couldn't see them anyway.


Step 4 ) For the castle walls, I staggered 6 diapers, three on each side, making sure that the printed sides were all facing the same way so I could hide them later.  I slid the crepe paper between the diapers and the tulle, then wrapped them lengthwise, with the seam over the printed area.  Again, I cut enough tulle to leave an overlap, then sandwiched it with the hot glue between the crepe.


















Step 5) For the base of my 'castle' I ran a strip of tulle down my table, and then laid out 12 diapers, overlapping them in a regular pattern.  As a word of advice, don't cut the tulle from the roll until you've rolled up the diapers, because they're going to shift as you go.  Because I couldn't predict ahead of time where my strip of crepe paper should be, I stuffed it under the tulle after I had it rolled and tulle cut off.  Using an ungainly method of holding the roll against my body, placing the hot glue on the seam and then ripping off another piece with my teeth, I managed to make the bottom of the cake.  I did this again with 10 diapers for the middle section, and a third time with 6 diapers to create the top layer.




Step 6 ) Stack your layers, place your towers, and then set the walls around it all.




Step 7) Once you have your diapers stacked up into the shape you want, then comes the decorating!
I used wide ribbon around the base of the walls to keep them from falling over, around each tower and the two visible bases.  To make pointy castle-like roofs, I cut half circles in sheets of decorative paper.  The large top roof was a full sheet of paper, while the smaller ones were only quarter sheets.  Then I glued ribbon around the bottoms, lace on the inside of the top, and ran a bamboo skewer down the top of the largest roof with a flag I'd glued onto it (paper, although ribbon would have been cute too) so that the roof wouldn't fall off.  A rounded 'drawbridge' completed my castle, and I later added a sparkly monogram sticker on the front.


All in all, I thought it turned out pretty well, and it added a little extra something to our fairy-tale themed baby shower.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Playing Dirty for FREE!

Just an FYI - my first book, Playing Dirty is currently FREE on Amazon.  The promo will be running until October 5th, 2014, so if you're looking for some archaeology mixed with murdering drug rings, and smart-assed characters, you've come to the right place. 




 Playing Dirty



Book 2, Mud, Sweat, & Tears is currently for sale and priced at $2.99




 Mud, Sweat, & Tears


Sunday, September 28, 2014

Why Lino's Sticky Widget is the Best.





Yay me, I've just finished writing my second book, Mud, Sweat, & Tears, because, ya know, I can totally do that.  Now that that is over and out of the way, I want to share, with pretty much anyone that will hold still long enough to listen, this awesome and FREE virtual cork board app.  In my pseudo-professional opinion, this is the way to go when trying to organize your research and story ideas.  

During the hours when I was supposed to be writing, I, of course, spent my time procrastinating on Pinterest.  I was searching for tips and tidbits, ideas about how to make your writing better, how to get organized, how to make the whole process easier.  (Instead of actually writing.)  There were countless pins touting the benefits of Scrivener, how its cork board made organizing your story board so much easier and how you can see everything laid out in front of you.  And it's true, you can use Scrivener to lay out your entire novel in scenes, which you can then move around at will.  There are another twenty to thirty benefits to Scrivener, or so I've read, but I tried the free-trial and decided that I didn't want to use something that required me to watch multiple YouTube videos before I could figure out how to use it.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  But I liked the idea of a cork board...

So I went in search of an online cork board, because I didn't want to waste paper printing stuff out and putting it in a tabbed notebook or pinning it to a real cork board.  I keep a notebook next to my bed to jot down story ideas or bits of dialogue that I come up with while I'm lying in bed,  but I don't want to carry one with me all of the time.  I already take a phone with me, and with lino as an app on my phone, I can take that cork board along too.  Did I mention that it's free?

Let me show you how it works:



I have a sticky note widget on my home laptop, which is what I used for my first book.  I wrote down information about the characters, plot ideas, and twists, but I quickly ran out of room.  Plus, if someone, say, your child, decides it's in their way, they x out of the sticky, and you lose that information forever.  Not so with lino.  It's safely tucked away on a server, far from your children and their button clicking ways.

You can choose from several background colors if you want to personalize your boards.  While the first board they give you will be titled MAIN, you can choose to name your other boards whatever you like.  When you add a sticky, it will look like the picture below.  Make a note, add a link if you like, tag it, or change the color of the sticky to fit into whatever color-coded plan you want to use.  Again, it's customizable. 




You can create a board for each book/paper/short story/screenplay...whatever, and there is no limit to the number of boards you can create.  Are you writing a series and want the same information shared across several boards?  You click the down arrow button on the bottom of the stick and choose which board you want to copy it to.  It's that easy.



I have multiple ideas going around in circles in my head at any given time, so this is the perfect way to do research on something that I may only be planning to write in the future.  This sort of research is normally done while I'm supposed to be writing something else, which is also called procrastination.  As you can see below, I've added pictures and then labeled each picture with a link to the site the picture was found.  I'm not ready to read all of those sites right now, but I'll know where to find it when I am.




And a shot of another book that I'll start writing for Nanowrimo in November.  I've put up pictures of random people I've found on the internet for my character references, and then slapped stickys around them as I've thought of their backstories.




You can add it to your computer, your tablet, or your phone, and take it with you anywhere, for free.  So the next time you're in Wal-Mart and think to yourself, 'That loser is going into a book," you can just pretend that your checking your grocery list app, while you're actually updating your board with characteristics of 'weird guy #10'... or whatever.



Sunday, March 9, 2014

Colored Easter Deviled Eggs



Well, this is another idea I saw on Pinterest, and let's face it, Easter projects on Pinterest range from super elaborate to gluing some Peeps to cardboard.  But this is one project I saw, and well, it seemed like everyone was posting different pics of it, and I thought, 'Hey, I can totally do that!"  And guess what?  It was super easy.  Since it involved eggs, I thought I'd incorporate another Pinterest project - baking eggs in a muffin tin.  

Baked Hard-Boiled Eggs

You will need:
Eggs - 6,12,18  however many eggs you need for the number of people you're feeding.
Muffin tin and an oven

Honestly, I am the worst egg boiler on earth.  I've read so many different directions for how to boil an egg that I never remember which one actually works, then they're either under-boiled or have that green ring around them.  Either way you have to have a big pot of boiling water, the steam, trying not to splash boiling water on you, I just don't like doing it.  I like this method for it's simplicity and I've tried a few variations since this first attempt.  

The method?  Place eggs in muffin tin wells, bake at 325 degrees for half an hour.  If you find your eggs have burned spots on the whites, try putting cupcake liners in the tins first to give the eggs a little more protection.  I'm actually considering buying silicone cupcake liners just for this purpose.  (I'm on a diet, no cupcakes for me!)

There are thousands of blog posts about how to bake a hard-boiled egg, so I don't kid myself that I'm imparting any new wisdom on you, but still a little freaky to see what they look like when they're done.  The oozey stuff washes right off, don't worry about that if you were planning on dying the eggs for an Easter egg hunt.  




Drop them into a bowl of ice water, give them a few minutes to cool off so you don't burn your fingers, then start peeling.  I've found peeling the shells off takes a third less time on average than actually boiling them.  I swear I spent half an hour peeling a dozen eggs one year because they were fresh and ended up with terribly ugly eggs.  This is what the burn spots look like, they weren't as bad when I used cupcake liners, and the burned area peeled right off, so you can't see them in the finished product, you just see a little divot. 




The second best part, after easy peeling, is no green/grey ring around the yolk!




Then comes the fun part...

Dying Your Egg Whites


Your options here are only limited by the food coloring you have on hand.  I have Wilton Gels and put them to good use.  

You will need:
Hard boiled egg whites
Plastic Zip-Lock bags, sandwich size is fine
Food Coloring
Rubber gloves - unless you don't mind having multi-colored fingers

Pop those yolks into the bowl where you'll be making the deviled part of your deviled eggs and start throwing the whites into plastic baggies.  You just need enough water in each baggy to cover the egg whites, and since I was using gel color, I dipped a toothpick into the gel and smeared it on the inside of the bag, where I broke it up and mixed it with the water with my fingers after the bag had been closed.  You have options here, the more food coloring you use, the faster the dye works, and the longer you leave the whites in the bags, the deeper the color.  I was going for bold, not pastels, so I left them in the bags for about twenty minutes.  Since they're in plastic bags it is really easy to check your color saturation, just grab the bag and slide an egg half above the water line to see what color it really is.



Once you've reached the desired color effect, lay them on a double layer (or even a triple layer if your counter tops stain easily) of paper towels to dry.  I would wait until you have everything laid out and drying before starting on your yolks, as that will give them time to set.  WARNING - if you're not wearing gloves at this point, you're going to have colorful fingers.  Wash your hands off between bags of color, or you'll be transferring the dye on your fingertips and have some weird spots.  Unless you're into weird spots, then knock yourself out.



After the egg whites are dry to the touch, fill them with your yolk mixture.  Deviled eggs are an individual thing, and I don't even measure for it, I just throw mayo, yellow mustard, and vinegar into the bowl until it tastes right, add salt and then stick it into a plastic bag.  I don't have professional icing bags, but since I'm usually traveling with the deviled eggs, I load up a Tupperware container with the egg whites, and a half gallon Zip-Lock bag with an icing coupler in the bottom corner.  (If you try this method, make sure you stick that coupler in there BEFORE you fill it with the yolk mixture)  When I get to my destination, I cut the corner off at the coupler and attach an icing tip to pipe into the eggs. Wilton tip #32 to be exact.  I think it makes for a more finished product.  Also, I would advise that if you're traveling with the dyed eggs, to separate them with paper towels or wax paper to keep the color from bleeding into one another.

Place on a pretty plate, and VOILA!  Happy Easter!



Bonus Tip: 

Remember that yellow and blue makes green, and yellow and red make orange.  So if you don't want plain yellow centers you can get creative with the yolks too.  I made white eggs with green yolks for Christmas one year, don't be afraid to try something new!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Apple Pie Moonshine

If, for some reason, you've found yourself the proud owner of a quart of moonshine and think to yourself, 'Gee, I wonder if my lawn mower will run on this stuff?' do your tongue a favor and make it into Apple Pie.

I found a basic recipe on the internet, from moonshineheritage.com and updated it a little.

What you'll need:
1 quart or 1 liter - moonshine or grain alcohol.  You can use Everclear, but if it's not at least 190 proof it's not going to be as strong.  Yes, a quart is less than a liter - a liter is 1.056 U.S. quarts.  If this difference bothers you, take a swig - there, now it's even.  A quart jar is probably what you have if you personally know the maker of the moonshine, a liter may be your option if you're buying it commercially, if that's even legal in your state.  It probably isn't, but I'm not going to judge how and where you obtain your moonshine.
1 gallon - apple juice - yes, I said GALLON
1 gallon - apple cider - yes, there's a difference.  If you don't see something labeled as cider in the grocery store (it's usually kept refrigerated) look for Simply Apple over in the orange juice section, if it's cloudy, it's cider.
2 1/2 cups - white sugar (you may want to substitute that last half a cup with brown sugar, I haven't tried it yet, but I plan on it)
24 - cinnamon Jolly Ranchers - umm, unwrapped, of course.
1/4 tsp. - allspice (if you have Apple Pie Spice, that'll work too)
1 tsp - vanilla  (if you want more than that after you taste it, feel free to add more)
at least an 8 qt stock pot, preferably a 10 qt.
9 - 1 quart mason jars



Keep in mind, that you're combining two gallons of stuff together, so you're going to need a minimum of an 8 qt. stock pot.  That 5 qt. crockpot isn't going to work unless you're halving the recipe.  Combine the apple juice, apple cider, sugar, and jolly ranchers together in the pan. Sprinkle your allspice on top, stir, and bring to a boil.  The Jolly Ranchers are going to stick to the bottom, you'll have to do a fancy little stir/scrape maneuver to keep popping them off the bottom until they melt.  Once it boils and you're certain all of the sugar and candy have melted, turn off the stove.  Add your vanilla flavoring, stir it in, and then let the mixture sit for a while to cool off.  This takes a few hours.  Once it's cool, you can add the alcohol.  This can be tricky if you only have an 8 qt pot, because it's already full.  Basically I poured the alcohol into the jars, making it as even as I could, then filled them all the rest of the way with the juice mixture.  You can enjoy it immediately, but some of the harshness of the moonshine is smoothed out if you let it sit in the fridge for a few weeks.  Remember, keep it refrigerated - just because it's in a Mason jar doesn't mean you really 'canned' it, with the amount of sugar in it bacteria will still grow if you leave it out at room temperature.

So go forth my lovelies, and make some apple pie your friends will kill for, just don't let it knock you on your butt - it's sneaky like that.  Tie a ribbon around a jar and give it away for Christmas, your friends will actually want this gift.  Whatever you do, DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! Drink and nap, like normal people.



Saturday, December 14, 2013

I wrote a book...

If you'll recall, my last post was about Nanowrimo and that I'd finally broken 50,000 words.  Well, in the last two weeks I've taken that bundle of words and disjointed dialogue, shaped it, molded it, and turned it into a book.  Playing Dirt, which can now be purchased as an Ebook on Amazon.com.




How did that happen?  Well, mostly with Pinterest.   If you're as old as I am (35) then you may recall The Little, Brown Handbook where you had to search out all of your questions for punctuation and grammar when writing a story or research paper.  This is what we had, there was no Google, and generally my teachers would never answer a question unless you could not find the answer in the Handbook.  It was frustrating.  Now though, there are some fabulous blogs and online articles about proper editing, and I'd like to take a moment and post some links for some of the best ones I found in my search.  No, I can't say that I hit the pinnacle of grammatical perfection, I'm sure there are still many errors, but it is definitely better than it was when I stopped at the end of November. 

First, The Editor's Blog.  As I was doing what I thought was my final edit, I had a vague niggling at the back of my mind about lower case letters starting after dialogue, but I couldn't remember why, or when I would use it.  This saved me, well, it caused me another run through of editing because I was doing it all wrong, but it was very clear and easy to understand.

Second, Writer's Digest: What To Look For When Editing Your Manuscript.  I loved this article, and it really helped me focus on the things I needed to look for.  Especially rule# 5 - The Audible Read.  If it doesn't flow well when you're reading it aloud, then you've screwed something up.  Go fix it.

This, from The Write Life.  Actually, everything from The Write Life, it's an excellent blog and I really suggest reading a few articles before you get started.

  

And finally, if you're going to publish to Amazon Kindle, you really need to download the free book from Amazon about how to format your work so that it will work on the Kindle platform, Building Your Book For Kindle. 

If you're really bored, or just want to waste more time while you're supposed to be writing something, I've got a whole bunch of tips, funny writing ecards, and other blog links on my 'Writing' Pinterest board.  http://www.pinterest.com/manderbet/writing/

Go forth, and create!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

NANOWRIMO - National Novel Writing Month

Okay, so how's this for I Can Totally Do That?  Write a novel in a month?  Sure, why not? Challenge accepted.


So a friend sends me a message in October saying, hey, do you want to try nanowrimo with me?  I, of course respond, "What the heck is that? Some sort of pokemon crap?"

Well, the short answer - no.

It is now November 28th, so I'm not going to make it, but thought I'd let you all know of the effort I gave it. First, let me explain the challenge.  The month of November is THE month in question, you, the writer are challenged to write 50,000 words during this 30 day period.  You update your word count yourself, occasionally pasting the entirety of your writing into a little box; it doesn't save you novel, just verifies the word count, and then shows you your stats - how many words a day you're averaging, how many you need to average to get done, when you are really going to get done if you keep writing as slow as you are now...stuff like that.

You get weekly updates from published writers with hints and tips, which is really nice when you're in week 2 thinking, WHHHHYYYYY am I subjecting myself to this, I'm never going to write anything that anyone will ever want to read.   Waaahhhhhh....  They encourage to go get more coffee and keep plugging away.  You also get to see a breakdown of your region, and they post on their own forums.  The Huntington, WV group has it's own fabulous Facebook page to encourage one another and meet for 'write-ins' which I've never done because bringing children along would defeat the purpose.  All in all, I really recommend it.  It has been fun.  I'm only at 36k words and a little over halfway done with my archaeologist/cop romance novel, but by golly I AM going to finish it.  (nanowrimo thinks by Dec. 11th at the rate I'm going)

Now, by finish, I don't mean ready to upload to Amazon Self Publishing, I mean, the first draft will be written.  I have whole chunks of this that are just dialogue, run on sentences, duplicated phrasing (my biggest pet peeve of 50 Shades is the repetitiveness, okay, he has LONG fingers, we get it already), but the story will be written, the rest is just editing....and re-editing...and then having someone who actually knows how to edit, edit it.  THEN it will be ready.

If you're interested in my effort, check out Chapter 1:
Playing Dirty


And if you're interested in being challenged to write a novel in a month (next November), here's the link.
nanowrimo.org

I hope you enjoy, and I'll let y'all know if I ever finish editing it! ;)

Friday, October 25, 2013

Quick and Easy Costume 'Skin'


 So you want to be a zombie for Halloween, and you've watched every episode of FaceOff but still have no idea how to pull it off.  Let me show you how I faked it.

You will need:
Rubber Cement
Tissues
Acrylic Craft Paint - red, black, white, green, and the closest color you can find to your own skin tone.
A paintbrush is helpful, but you can use the corner of a paper towel or even your finger.
Baby oil (to remove the rubber cement)
Dish washing liquid (to remove the baby oil)
Corn starch, flour, or talc

First and foremost, if you have sensitive skin, I don't advise trying this.  It takes a lot of effort and scrubbing to get the rubber cement back off your skin, so if you think any of the above ingredients may break you out in hives, don't risk it.  (Unless it adds to your costume, ya know, your choice)  Also, if you have a lot of hair where you plan on applying this, shave it off now.  Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Yes, it looks like snot covered tissues.  Yum.
Decide where you want your 'wound' to be placed, then slap some rubber cement on it. As you smear it on, keep in mind that a thin coat is best because even thick globs will flatten out as it dries, so you won't get more texture just a longer drying time.  Let the first layer dry, this takes about 3 or 4 minutes.  Then rip your tissue into strips and lay them down to create the 'edges' of the wound.  Brush over the tissue strips with rubber cement, making sure you get the outside edges laid down flat, you want the inner edges to stick up a little.  If it's not perfect, don't worry, you're going to paint over it anyway, and well, chances are, wherever you're going will be dark so no one will notice.

Then paint.  I painted the tissue the color I found closest to my skin color, then using the same brush (no need to clean it) mixed some red and black together and laid that down the middle as 'gore'.   When I was satisfied with that, I mixed some more of the flesh tone with the red and dabbed it on with my fingers to make a 'bruised' area around the wound, like it's been festering; some black vein marks would be very acceptable.  Since I was going as a zombie, I mixed some green and white with my fingers and kind of smeared it around on the other areas of my arms, to give my skin a greenish tint.  This whole process took about 15 minutes from start to finish.  You could get much more involved with it, but if you're looking for something quick, this works really well.



The hardest part of this whole process - getting it back off.  The paint is acrylic, it will wash right off with water (not rain proof, I'll warn you now!) but the rubber cement, not so much.  Baby oil will dissolve the cement and it makes a lovely rubbery/oily goo.  I recommend using some dish soap to remove most of the oil, then throw a handful of corn starch on it.  Flour or talcum powder would work too, you just need something that will soak up the rest of the oil.  Then, rub thoroughly.  It should peel off pretty easily after that. 
Almost as good as waxing, you didn't need all those useless hairs anyway.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Zebra-fied Corkboard



Yes, even a plain, boring $10 Walmart cork board can be zebra-fied.  I think it's necessary for a 10 year old girl to be able to pin stuff up on something other than the drywall, and let's face it, a big brown rectangle isn't going to fit into the 'decor'.  And so began my shopping trip.

You will need:
*A corkboard, whatever size you want, I used a 2'x3' that I found for $9.97 at Wal-Mart.  I considered just buying cork tiles and making one myself, but honestly it was cheaper to just buy the board already in a frame.  
*A can of white or pink spray paint.  I used white, but you could do pink with zebra stripes if that's your thing.
*Black acrylic paint.
*Trim - something fuzzy, sparkly, shiny....your options are endless.
*A hot glue gun, and ya know, the glue sticks for it.
*A spoon. 

Step 1.)  Brush any loose dust and debris from the corkboard and go spray paint it.  I used an entire can of paint on this board, so if you go bigger you may want to buy two cans.  Even so, you can see that there are areas that could have been covered better, but honestly she's going to have it covered in artwork and magazine clippings within 10 minutes of me hanging it up, so I wasn't concerned about splotches.  Again, my standard warning when using spray paint, protect your area from overspray, and make sure you're in a well ventilated area.  If you start singing show-tunes five minutes in, you may need some fresh air.  Could you use white acrylic paint and a brush? Probably, but you'd want to prime it first, and ain't nobody got time for that.

See how uneven it is? The cork sucks the paint up immediately.  Luckily it doesn't need to be perfect,
you won't notice once you paint the zebra stripes on.

Step 2.)  Find a reference for your zebra stripes.  Google is wonderful thing and every time I use it I wonder how I made it through high school without it.  Find something you like and try to copy it; it's very hard to screw up zebra stripes.  Just try to keep your lines smooth and not straight, if that makes any sense.  You can create tiny little stripes or big bold stripes, it's a very personal thing.  Alternately, you can let your child draw/paint their own stripes, and if it looks weird you can blame it on them. :)  I went with a 'zebra skin' effect, and it took about 2 hours to paint it on.  I was using a good quality acrylic paint from a tube, but I honestly think a cheap craft paint would have been easier, just make sure it's gloss; a flat paint may flake off later.  My paint was too thick and had to be thinned with water, but if I added too much water it would start to run down the board.  I was completely over the whole thing by the time I was halfway done.   

Aaaaannnnd glue and twist and push,
aaaannnnd glue and twist and push...
Step 3.)  Trim it.  Seriously I stood in Wal-Mart for ten minutes with three different yarns and two spools of ribbon in the 'seat' of my cart trying to decide what I wanted to do.  There were fluffy yarns with crystals woven into them, fluffy and glittery, just fluffy, ribbon that was solid hot pink glitter, ribbon that was just pink and shiny...I had a really hard time deciding. I went with fluffy- there was 129 yards of it, so I knew I could use several strands along each side and make it nice and fuzzy.  If I had it to do over again, I would have went with the glittery ribbon, it would have been a lot easier to glue onto the edges.
I spent about 15 minutes cutting lengths of my fuzzy yarn, about 8 per edge, and then started in one corner hot gluing them on.  I didn't make one long length of glue, I did three spots on the short ends and 5 on the long ends (not counting the giant globs in the corners) and twisting the pieces of yarn so that even if one of the lengths didn't get stuck in one glue glob, it would get stuck in the next glob. (Don't you love these technical terms?)
This could be your fingers.  Don't
let this be your fingers.
Now, you're probably wondering where the spoon comes into play.  Hot glue is, well, hot.  Low-temp glue is hot, but it sets up almost immediately and you won't die if you get it on your fingers.  Not so for high-temp glue guns.   High-temp glue is like lava and stays hot for three or four minutes.  For this project a low-temp is fine, we're dropping glue then pressing in the yarn one spot at a time.  I used the back of a spoon to push the yarn pieces into the glue without burning my fingers....again.  Seriously, it hurts.  When you're done, trim your corners, and hang!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Basil Pepperoni Cheese Sticks



One of the joys of having children is trying to find new snacks for your child's school lunch.  This is a story about how a snack gone wrong was corrected.  
My darling son insisted that he was the only child in the whole wide world that didn't get string cheese in his lunch, so I bought some.  Upon tasting it he refused to actually eat it, and my daughter insisted that it was gross to look at and she didn't even want to touch it.  Now I of course hadn't just bought 'some',  I had bought this huge bag of mozzarella that no one wanted to eat.  Great.
Then I found a picture on Pinterest of mozzarella cheese sticks wrapped in a wonton wrapper with some pepperoni, and thought, 'Aha!'.  Unfortunately it was just the picture, there was no link to the directions or to the original blogger, so I don't even know who to credit for this fabulous idea.  I did take it a step further though, and added some fresh basil, because I was just lamenting earlier today that I have this big healthy basil plant in my flowerbed and no idea what to do with it (be prepared to see new basil recipes as I figure it out.)

What you'll need it:
Egg Roll Wrappers
Pepperoni 
Mozzarella Cheese Sticks
Fresh basil leaves.
A cup with water in it (just a little)
A pan of oil 325 -350 degrees.    


Fresh basil has a really strong flavor, so if you 'like' the taste, but don't 'love' the taste, you may want to halve even those little strips.  A little goes a long way.

Slap two more pieces of pepperoni on this side, and fold the ends in first.  You can just do three pieces if you want to pretend you're making healthier, but really....

 Flip one end over, so that it looks like an envelope and then dip your finger into your cup of water and run it along the edges of the bigger flap, so the wrapper will seal tight.



When you first start to roll it it's going to be loose and weird because you've got a lot stuffed in there, but it will tighten up as you roll.  Get a couple of them rolled up before you start dropping them into the oil so you don't get distracted and burn them.  If the oil is between 325 and 350 degrees it should be hot enough to cook but not so hot that the outside crisps up before your cheese gets gooey.  They really need to cook for about a minute and a half to get the cheese warm (cold cheese inside is...not good).  Two sticks are plenty to fill you up, and if you have some leftover marinara, by all means, dip away!

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Tooth and Nail



So I've mentioned that my dad has a sawmill, and I thought I'd give him some space here.  He owns a mobile sawmill and woodcraft shop in Milton, WV, making furniture, crafts, and wooden dulcimers and psalteries. So, what is a mobile sawmill?



The log is strapped to the black metal base and the saw (seen at the other end) runs horizontally on rails down it's length, creating board lumber. 
I thought I'd post some pics of all the things he creates from that lumber.


He made this dining room table and side bench.
Dulcimers and Psalteries, he even made the bows!

Rocking chairs.


Cutting boards.


Quilt racks.
A fishing rod holder.






Bark silhouettes created from the slab of bark cut from a log while it's being squared off.

Blanket chests.

Since he has retired, he spends most of his time out in the woodshop, making all of these fabulous works of art.  He's been known to make a gun stalk or two, even caskets!  Basically, if you can dream it up, dad will find a way to build it.  If you want to see more, check out his Facebook page at Tooth  and Nail!

Dad out in the shop.